Hank Hill Quotes: Great Quotations from King of the Hill

Cotton Hill Quotations From King of the Hill

Hank's cantankerous father, who lost his shins in WWII.

  • ((Tosses his keys on the table))
    Them's the keys to my Cadillac car. The wife's not aloud in it unless she's in a bag in the trunk.
  • (After being arrested for Bobby burning down the church)
    If I can take a bullet for my grandson I will.. But no in the face- Its how I makes my livin'
  • (on eating rats while in a Japanese POW camp)
    I kept the last one alive so I could eat his droppings. Called it jungle rice. Tasted fine.
  • Hey Bobby, how ya like ya grandma's new tata's? Don't tell her, got 'em cheap... both lefties!
  • I don't take no anesthetic. Did Lincoln ask for any girlie gas when they blowed his head off?"
  • C'mon grease monkey, Lets tango!
  • Hey Hank's Wife, if you have an opinion to share, why don't you go in the kitchen and put it in a bunt cake.
  • I didn't fight off a bunch of horny cadets just to get felt up by you.
  • A man doesn't have to wear pants around the house if he doesn't want to.
  • (After finding out Hank wears a synthetic behind)
    Good God, Hank! You're wearing butt-boobies!
  • I killed fity men in WW2
  • The only Charity I care about dances for money in a g-string.
  • (eating turkey dressing at Thanksgiving)
    illie woman! Did you make this dressing?!? 'Cause it tastes like garbage!!!
  • Them tojos came at me faster than i could gut 'em ,so i had to gut 'em faster.
  • That's a good one, Hank's Wife. A woman fixing a car, that's like a pig trying to read!
  • Put your tatas up to Didi's tatas, we'll see who has the bigger MELONS!
  • Hey missy! How 'bout some sammiches?!
  • (Hank gives Cotton a fruit basket Peggy made for him)
    Is that a kiwi in there? You know how i feel about hairy fruit.
  • I got my shins blowed off by a Japan-Man's machine gun, so don't come cryin' to me with your problems!
  • (After Hank tells Cotton dinner isn't ready yet because it's only 3 in the afternoon.)
    I can't eat excuses!
  • Sorry I'm late. I had to stop by the wax museum again and give the finger to FDR.

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